I returned home for the summer holidays, it was nice to see back my family and friends, returning back to where it all began. I returned back to my old school, nothing really changed, still the same antique, old-fashioned building filled with memories and laughter, I missed wearing the uniform, I just missed, the conversations that I would have with my classmates. In my mind, I had the best years of my studying career here, all those memories kept flashing through my mind. There is something different than the school life I have in the UK.
I met all my old classmates but, there was a sense of awkwardness, it was like we didn’t know each other, we didn’t know what to talk about because it has been too long. I sensed the feeling that they were pushing me away. I watched my classmates play together, everything just fitted in, without me. Why do I suddenly feel left out? We were such good friends, now, it’s like nothing was even established, I was back to square zero.
It has been so long, that I don’t know what they were up to, I didn’t know what was in their mind. It has been so long, that they have forgotten about me and moved on because I am not in their life as often, which I understand. However, it’s just really saddening that my relationship with them have fallen into embarrassment and awkwardness, it upsets me that I’ve lost a friend.
Do you know the feeling that you have this long lost friend that you’ve always wanted to contact but you decide not to because they are having the time of lives without you and are doing just fine. It feels like you don’t want to disturb their life because you are no longer necessary. I always wondered what would happen if I stayed in my old school, I might still be in good contact with them and make even more memories together, I might still be able to understand their in-jokes and do the things they do now. Seeing my friends posting their daily life activities on the internet makes me want to do it with them, makes me miss them, but I never know if it’s the same to them.
People move on whether if it’s with you or without. So do you, there are just some things that you just swiftly forget as time passes because you change and you face new challenges, you meet new people and you forget the old ones. That’s just something that human nature does, we get fed up with one thing and move on to the next. I would very much want to maintain my relationship with my friends forever but that’s really difficult and hard. Only the real and true ones stay behind, it shows that they care about you, whether or not you’ve changed or awkward around them.
Sometimes, memories are the things that we hold dearest, it is a proof of good times with your friends, whether if they have moved on and forgot you or still by your side when you’re in hard times, they are just flashbacks of happy events of your life. Time moves on, so do you, but memories don’t. So, I’d rather just leave a happy memory of all my friends than actually make an effort to befriend them again because I might not like their new self and it might ruin the ‘perfect’ memories I have with them.